It’s Tuesday, 5.30 a.m.. The rumble of a garbage truck right in front of my window wakes me up. I have been sleeping for just 4 hours. My body tenses and my head feels heavy.
A month ago I gave birth to my baby girl and since then I’m spending a lot of time at home, mostly in the bedroom. Its window looks out right onto the dumpster of our apartment complex. People who observe dumpsters rarely can’t even imagine how rich the life out there is.
10 a.m. My baby just fell asleep, and it’s the best time for a tired mom to take a nap as well. However, my dream about a little rest will not come true because I hear the second garbage truck coming... I can feel my heart racing, I close the window hoping that my baby will not awake. Horrible rumble... BANG!—the first can, BANG!!!—the second one. Baby starts crying, I’m rocking her for a long time until she falls asleep again.
Finally I can have a nap. I can’t remember any time when I was so exhausted. In 15 minutes I’m jumping out of bed again—somebody has thrown a garbage bag into now empty thrash can! These noises will now be repeating for a while.
The third garbage truck—the last one for today comes in the afternoon. And of course, it comes when I’m rocking my baby or when we are both asleep.
The same scenario happens on Thursdays and Fridays.
Besides this problem there is another one—homeless people hunt for plastic bottles 3-4 days per week. I know them all. I can tell you which one of them is currently stomping on plastic bottles and soda cans to fit them into their bags even if I’m not looking out of the window.
Sometimes I think that I’m too close to a panic attacks when my nap is disturbed by the crackle and crunch of the plastic. It’s hard to breathe, it’s hard to calm down. At this moment I blame everyone for my tiredness. Though, I understand that homeless need to earn money, and I understand that garbage trucks have to do their job, but when you are suffering from a lack of sleep, this is not helping. Every sound is driving me crazy.
Monday. There is a huge amount of garbage piling in the cans and nearby. Last chance for the homeless to hunt, tomorrow the cans will become empty.
Tuesday. Again. Day after day, again and again. My body tenses and my head feels heavy...
I want to leave this place as soon as possible. My body is craving for silence and peace.
